A Quieter Pilgrimage

   
    I slept well that first night out of the hospital.  Though I came home on New Year's Eve I didn't stay up long, and I'm sure the pain pill I took helped.  A couple of trips to the bathroom using my new "push the walker, hop on right foot" technique made it clear that this was going to be a very long six weeks.  Actually, I'm hoping it's only going to be six weeks - the orthopedic surgeon had mentioned being laid up that long, but another time he was talking about 3-4 months.  I checked with Richard and yes, he heard the same thing.  We are both hoping the longer period is just a time line for gradually adding weight to my left leg and getting back on track.
    New Year's Day was nice - watched the parade, family came by the visit, watched football games.  But then came Wednesday.  I had a terrible night's sleep and this "push the walker, hop on right foot" thing was really getting old.  I couldn't believe how tired I was arriving at the couch or back on my bed!  Oh yes, this was going to be a long six weeks.  I don't know how this popped into my mind, but I started looking at the similarities of this time to my pilgrimage on the Camino:  I had only two changes of clothes in Spain, now I have two pair of flannel pants that will fit over the splint; I had to pack very lightly in order to carry everything with me, I can't carry anything with me as the walker is so awkward (I do now have a light pack that I use); there's lots of time set aside to think, or just be while walking, there's lots of time set aside to think, or just be while sitting; having the support of friends and family meant a lot while I was in Spain, having the support of friends and family means a lot as I heal; my feet were often burning and aching so badly, now my hands are burning and aching from pushing on the walker.
    There are some big differences also: no walking, of course, and also no nightly dinner meeting new people from other countries around the world, reunions with people met earlier on the way, seeing new geography along the way.  But I started to think about what made the Camino a pilgrimage -- it had everything to do with how I intentional responded to each situation.  By making the decision to be on a pilgrimage, I decided to do some things differently.  I tried to recognize when I was falling into my fears, not trusting God, limiting myself.  As I set in my living room last week I decided that I wanted to approach this six weeks of healing as a pilgrimage also - being intentional in how I responded to my situation.
    For you see, a part of me really wanted to throw a big pity party.  I was so irritated with myself for having this accident and changing everything for this winter.  I was so tired, uncomfortable, still with a little pain, and more than a little anxious about having day in/day out of sitting for weeks to come.  When I stopped and decided to turn it over to God in prayer, I had that final connection to my pilgrimage in Spain.  I realized that once again this would be a time to trust in God, stay in prayer, and make the best of this new reality.
    So here I am on a pilgrimage with absolutely no planning at all!  I didn't have to purchase a lot of gear (though Richard did pick up a wonderful "convoluted seat cushion" for me which is giving relief to my rather sore bum.  I'm trying to keep up with the work items I can do from my lap top, but I also have copious amounts of time to read and look out the window - because I can't really do much else.
   The irony is not lost on me that I went on my Camino pilgrimage to sort of lay the ground work for entering the final third of my life.  I have to say I did not expect to be laid up so completely less than 2 years later and I'm thankful that it is only temporary.  No, I won't be walking on this Camino, and in the shelter of my home it is much quieter.  This pilgrimage will be one that includes silence in some new ways.   I'm looking forward to finding out what else is in store for this accidental pilgrim!