The Peace of God

    Last Saturday I was at the Preachers' Aid Society's annual meeting at the Londonderry NH United Methodist Church.  As I washed my hands in the restroom I looked to my left and read words from  Philippians: 4:6 (NIV) painted on the wall:  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  They were just the words that I needed.  This coming Friday, May 10th, is my next doctor appointment and I've found that for the first time I am anxious.
    I was surprised to realize that.  But after seeing x-rays at my last two appointments not showing new growth in my bones , I am finding it harder too have "hope" as I go to this appointment.  And without hope, anxiety is happy to fill the void.  The answer to this is in the passage from Philippians - turn to prayer... present your requests to God. 
    Ah yes, prayer.  Well, I (and others) have been praying for my healing, but it just isn't happening.  At least not the way I expected.  Of course, "my" expectations are more closely connected to my anxiety than to my prayer life.  My orthopedic surgeon has been very upfront all along about how long this recovery might take.  Yet all along I have been expecting things to move more quickly.  My expectations connect me to the chronos time that governs my life.  My prayers have the potential to connect me to God's time - and God has all the time in the world (literally).  Have you noticed that God is never in a hurry?
   As I reflect on this, I realize that prayers are being answered.  People keep asking me how I'm doing or how can I stand it not being able to use both legs equally.  Well, I've been held in prayer and I've known God is with me in this journey.  I guess that's how I do it.  That doesn't mean it isn't frustrating, it doesn't mean I get a little overwhelmed at this at times, but it does mean that I'm able to wake up in the morning and smile, knowing I can make the choice to live each day as fully as possible.  My prayer to God is that I can hand off this anxiety about my next appointment.  My prayer is that no matter what I learn about my bones healing, I will learn more about myself.  God has given me a glimpse into God's time, no hurry, no deadline.   And through my continued prayers I know I will also make room for the peace of God.  For "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard [my heart and] your hearts and [my mind and] your minds in Christ Jesus."  May the Peace of God be with you all.